Over the years I've been blessed to have an amazing support system in place. One that many would give anything to have and hope for everyday. From time to time the occasional doubter has crossed into my support system. Worse yet, this doubter is a two faced liar who earns my trust, only to break my heart and abuse my friendship. Those are the most dangerous people to let in because they'll do the most damage to your life if you let them. To my knowledge, my life is purged of those kinds of people and has been for years. However, if there are any of you hiding within or lurking around the borders of Joshland, I hope you read this and I hope you take it to heart.
This post is dedicated to the "Triers".
You tell me that I'm an inspiration, then you second guess me when I tell you my dreams. You say you support me, then you tell others how you're worried I'm in over my head. You're talking to an adult who handles more on a daily basis than most people could ever imagine, but then you treat me like a child that can't tie their shoes. I need your help and I ask for your support and you only give me condescending pity.
Tell me I can't do something..I dare you.
I'll make a mental note of everything you don't have the guts to admit to me, but I know you believe in your heart. Then, I'll take that dare and one of two things will happen:
I will succeed and shove your doubts right back in your face. I won't gloat or boast. I won't trash talk or brag. I'll do it all with my actions and my determination. I might hope for an apology, but I won't expect one because you're too proud and stubborn for that.
Or maybe I'll give it everything I've got and I'll still fail. I will not reach my goal. I'll fall flat on my face. Maybe everything you expected would happen will happen. Even though you won't make a sound when you see me, the look on your face will tell me all I need to know…"I told you so. I'm sorry it happened this way, but I told you so."
You'd think that might bother me…and you'd be right. I'll be heartbroken because my dream didn't come true…because sometimes that's how life works. So I'll dust myself off, dry my tears and find another dream to chase, but it'll scar me even more that someone I trusted…someone I believed in…doesn't believe in me.
Still…while I'm thinking about that…I'll also be smiling. See, while you sat on the sidelines warning me about the perils of having my dreams crushed by disappointment, I was out there trying to make my dreams come true. I was out there because I never wanted to wonder "what if?" for the rest of my life. I never wanted to be you and because I tried…I never will be you.
I don't wear my smile to mock you. I don't have time for that nonsense. I wear my smile because I'm proud of what I did and who I am. That's worth a grin for a moment or two.
"I'd rather try and fail, than fail to try." ~ Anonymous