Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Rough Run...

I've never been big on talking about my current health situation - PFTs, IVs, and doctor appointments - until I know all of the information about it. Even then I hesitate to share unless it's a very serious situation because I don't want people to worry their pretty little heads about me. IT IS NOT A SERIOUS SITUATION, SO SETTLE DOWN. Don't give me that crap about you not worrying because MANY of you do. That is not something I want people to expend their energy on. Getting sick is just part of having CF and I roll with it every day just like anyone else does.

Now...here is the update:

I've been on IV's for the last two weeks. No you didn't miss a post, I just didn't tell very many people about it. My prior stint of IV's in April got rid of some of the infection, but not all of it. So we have a new battle plan in place. Today's CF clinic appointment was...meh. Not bad, but not as productive as I might have hoped two weeks into treatments. I take solace in the fact the this plan has always been "slow and steady wins the race". Part of my troubles has to do with allergies and asthma and part of it has to do with being more docile than I normally am. Being on IV's with the majority of your small intestine missing is a miserable and draining experience. I'm exhausted all the time and I can't be far away from a bathroom for safety's sake. My lungs feel better, but I can tell that they have a ways to go. I'm confident that I'll show more marked improvement once I'm able to be more active after treatments are done. When will that be? When I am better. :-) Please keep me in your thoughts because I need all the positivity I can get.

On a personal note, I've been through an emotional and angry time. Working through issues that have lingered for a long time, but have only recently resurfaced and caused me great pain and frustration. I haven't wanted visitors because I've had the disposition of a wolverine, not to mention that fact that I haven't had the energy for them. I'm publicly apologizing for snapping, being short, and/or being very distant with everyone for a while, but sometimes a guy (who is RARELY angry) has to work through his anger on his own time. I've said it once and I'll say it again...being angry is healthy and honest emotion that will destroy you if you hold it in. Staying angry for a extended period of time is not healthy.

On the "Moganko Project" front, we've been making progress. It's noticeably slowed down since I've been ill, but I'm hoping for things to get finalized for the late summer/early fall. Let's hope everything falls into place as it should. I'm not promising anything as my health takes top priority obviously, but keep your fingers crossed. It will become reality. I CAN promise you that.

Peaceful and Slowly Recouping Things,



  1. When you have a super positive disposition 99.9% of your days, it is impossible to alienate anyone. As your momma, I can give you all the space you ask for, but in the end, you will find my presence in your world for the tough as well as the joyful things. Hang in there, and God bless your medical team and especially your amazing and loving wife.
    Love, Mom xoxox

  2. You are amazing Josh!! Thank you for putting all this out there. I truly respect you need for privacy but am here for you also. Glad to hear you believe productivity is in the works...
    Love to you, Carly and Moganko

  3. I'm sad that the last round of IV's didn't do the trick. You are absolutely in my thoughts, along with my prayers...

  4. Thinking of you Josh and hoping for good feelings and good health!

  5. So good to hear from you! And I will admit....I'm one of those worriers :) It's just the mommy in me, I can't help it. Glad to hear there's an action plan in place and there is NOTHING wrong with slow and steady. It's the win in the end that matters! Sending prayers that your lungs and legs continue their uphill progress. Big hugs and loads of love.

  6. I just wanted you to know that no matter how angry, frustrated, happy, or sad you may be we're here for you. I hope you start to feel improvement with your IV's. Take your time to work through the things that you need to. We all think you are amazing! Wishing you positive things :)

  7. Thinking of you, Josh. Thanks so much for sharing your heart!

  8. Keep smiling, Mister. It was wonderful to see you, Carly and Moganko last week. Thanks for letting us invade your home and reconnect over summertime food. Will talk soon - mol


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