Sunday, January 30, 2011

Little Observations From Joshland


My mind often wanders and wonders, so on this late and lazy Sunday night I decided to let you in on some of the thoughts I've overthunk this week. Prepare to either have your mind blown or wish you could get the few minutes back that you spent reading this grammatically challenged blog post ...



  • Waiting in line or in a waiting room for a long period of time doesn't bug me. It never has and it probably never will. Stoplights, on the other hand, drive me insane. I hate waiting for the light to turn. Sometimes I stare at the red and try to will it to change colors. The funny thing is I'll speed through the light as soon as it changes to make up for lost time, only to arrive at my destination and end up waiting for some reason anyways. It's a dumb habit, but I always do it.
  • Sometimes I'll feel so winded when I'm out and about that I lose interest in everything else around me. My mind is only focused on getting home to do an airway clearance treatment. Then, when I finally get home, it takes me forever to start my treatment. I think it's because I feel like all I do is treatments and I get tired of them no matter how good I feel afterward. Staying on track is hard.
  • Even though I don't believe in regrets and wouldn't change anything that has happened in my life because I believe in fate and destiny, I'll admit I wonder what my life would have been like if I had been able to go to high school every day and then went straight to college after I graduated.
  • I'll bet dollars to donuts we won't have children and I'm okay with that. That doesn't stop me from being envious of my friends and family that have them.
  • I have the orchestral soundtrack for Back to the Future on a CD in my car. When I'm alone I'll cue the music to the point where it's starting to crescendo and hit play as I'm about to enter an on ramp to a major highway. Then I'll punch the gas to the floor in hopes that I'll hit 88 mph and go back in time before I have to merge into traffic. It has yet to work. One time I thought I went back 15 minutes, but it turned out my dashboard clock was running slow. I think I'll need a car with a little more punch than a V6 engine if I actually want to go back in time. I"ll keep you all in the loop if it happens.
  • I have this reoccurring dream where my friends and I are walking into a bar in slow motion and the patrons at said bar pick a fight with us. In the midst of all this mayhem and chaos, my friends and I exchange witty banter and one liners. It's your prototypical 80's comedy fight scene. I chuckle when I wake up in the morning after I've had this dream for two reasons: 1. I would never get into a bar fight. 2. I've never thrown a punch, but if I did, it would be the absolute worst punch in the history of all punches. It would be so bad that the guys I was fighting would consider letting me go before ultimately pummeling me into Josh pudding. Why do I have these dreams? Probably because I'm goofy. Oh, by the way, one of two songs are always playing in the background during this dream:

Shotgun by Junior Walker and The All Stars



OR

"La Grange" by ZZ Top



  • I have the uncanny ability to get my socks lodged into the legs of my jeans or pants when I take them off. This drives my wife crazy. Nothing annoys her more than washing and drying the laundry, only to find wet socks inside dry jeans. She loves me and we are never going to part, but if we ever did I'm pretty sure that this sock habit would be one of several habits specified in the "irreconcilable differences" portion of those legal documents. Thank goodness I'm adorable. (I need sarcasm font for sentences just like that previous one.)
  • Sundays in the winter are a dangerous time inside my head. It's one of those days where I reflect on where I've been, where I am, and where I'm going. Doing that kind of deep thinking every week for an extended period of time can hurt your brain. I know from experience.
  • You know you're severely mismatched when your best friend says to you "Your wife let you out of the house like that?"

I have other random thoughts, but I'll save them for when I need to lighten the mood.

Peaceful Things,

Josh

3 comments:

  1. That was hilarious! Perfect thing to read when woken up WAY too early by certain small people! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for sharing. As always, you are simply amazing. Hugs and love!

    Colleen

    ReplyDelete
  3. HAHA! I laughed so hard at the "Back to the Future". That's really funny Josh.

    You "bet dollars to donuts"? Mmmmm... donuts ..... *drool*.

    ReplyDelete

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