Two things are happening at midnight in our house: Our mini schnauzer, Henry, is begging me to go chase the rabbits that he hears in yard when it is -10 below zero outside. Meanwhile, I am trying to reflect on my 2009. It was pretty outstanding for the most part. I've tried a lot of new things. For instance, I've traveled a little more - which I only got sick from once, and that was more from the plane ride home. I started writing a blog - which I really enjoy and I am happy to say that others must enjoy reading as well. I started volunteering again - which makes me happy and gives me a sense of self-worth I had otherwise lost. I lived another year, but that is something everyone should be proud of. To steal a very amusing quote from a friend (who I am sure stole it from someone else):"Everyday, I wake up knowing I've accomplished something...I've broken a personal record for consecutive days alive."
But lately, my mind has been wandering beyond the boundaries of my accomplishments into the realm of the unknown. Make no mistake, folks...sometimes I am afraid of the future. Perhaps that is because of what I've seen. Regardless of the reason...it makes me feel uneasy. The successes and the failures, the moments of joy and pain that come with knowledge that "life is what happens while I'm making other plans." That's the reason why I call my blog "Welcome To Joshland." My life (like anyone else who is reading these words) is an amusement park roller coaster that slowly cranks and clicks its way up the incline to the precipice of satisfaction, only to plunge into the challenges that await me. The twists and turns of existence that give me the adrenaline rush to surge ahead could also sap me of the energy it may take to survive the next set of peaks and drops...
But you know what is great about my roller coaster? I always end up right where I started...safe and secure, full of excitement, anticipation, and anxiety. The more I ride it, the more prepared I am for the next go-around. It doesn't make it any less challenging and I may have a few bumps and bruises, but I know what to expect for the most part....unless they close the ride for renovations.
For some reason, my eyes are welling up right now. I'm not sure why...I'm not sure what kind of tears these are. All I know is that they are not bad tears and apparently they need to be shed. I have lots of stories left to tell...some that haven't even happened yet. Those stories will have to wait though, because right now I have to let the dog out. Rabbit patrol must be a revolving New Year's resolution for Henry.
Peaceful and Powerful New Year Things,
Josh
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I'm on the roller coaster with you fibro! I say we both focus on enjoying the ride!!!
ReplyDeleteRonnie
That is the plan, Ronnie. That is the plan.
ReplyDeleteHi Josh,
ReplyDelete1997 Pony here :) I just found your blog and ended up gobbling it up when I should have been working, you have such a gift with words and your attitude is inspiring, I'm looking forward to reading more!
Sarah Anderson
The thing that is so terrifying about the roller coaster ride is that none of us really know what ride we are on - too bad we can't pick. But at least it is more exciting than the Merry-Go-Round...that one just makes me dizzy. I am so profound, aren't I? ;-)
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to more of the stories you have yet to write, Josh! I always smile when I see in my blog that you have a new post I get to read. I usually read them at night, when the kids are sleeping. Your stories sometimes make me cry but what I love the most is that it always feels like a peaceful, reflective moment at the end of a usually loud and chaotic day. Thanks for sharing your peaceful things.
m
Thanks for all the encouragement! You all rock!
ReplyDeleteM - Someday if my wife and I ever get out to your neck of the woods, it would be great to meet up.
Josh,
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful post for this life of ours. It is a roller coaster, that is for sure, but I have to say....as long as I have money to buy tokens...I am riding! :) And hopefully teaching my little girls the same, CF or not it is an inspiring post my friend!
Love you. And as always anticipating the next post! :)
K
Hey Josh! Thanks for finding my blog :) I'll officially be stopping by Joshland often :)
ReplyDeleteI am glad to have read the following two sentences: "For some reason, my eyes are welling up right now. I'm not sure why...I'm not sure what kind of tears these are." It often happens to me especially when I reflect on the past and then think about my future. I am proud of have far I have come to pursue my dream of going into space. But yet, I can't help be afraid and think whether or not I'll ever make it, whether or not we continue to send humans to explore the heavens. The only thing I can do is to enjoy the great adventure "the roller coaster") of trying. Thanks Josh for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jess. I'll be checking out your site as well, my dear.
ReplyDeleteStephan - You just get it, kid. Never met you, but I am always amazed at the things you accomplish when I read your blog. I can't wait to hear about you in outer space someday!