Thursday, June 19, 2014

The Past Is Wonderful And The Future Is Bright

I've been truly blessed to be a part of the CF Community over the last five years of my life. I mean, I've always been a part of it, but it's been a huge part of my identity since 2009.

Breathe.

Blog.

Moganko.

Podcast.

Speaking.

All of that happened because I wanted to share my story—not just my CF story—but my life with people. I've always said that I share my creativity with others because I just want to make people happy and that's true, but I don't think I was being entirely truthful...

I don't think I was including myself in that statement.

It makes me feel good to know that the Moganko videos help families learn together. It makes me feel good that the podcast gives honesty and reality to what happens in our community without pulling any punches and without crafting it into something that's always pleasurable to hear or feel because that's not the truth of CF. The truth is that it's not all duckies and bunnies.When I speak at a CF Education Day or at a fundraising event, I share a part of me that feels everything on a deeper level because I hope it reaches people in some way...and that makes me feel good, too.

This entire journey has been cathartic for me. When I write on here or on social media—when I share such intimate thoughts about my life—it's because I want to help people who might be going through the same things I have and it's because I'm still trying to fix the unfixable. I'm still trying to bring Angie back. I'm trying to make my loved ones understand what I'm going through and I'm still trying to understand how so many things in my life went so off kilter and yet how I'm one of the lucky ones to have made it this far with joy despite the emotional and physical scars. I don't think we ever get those answers until after we're gone.

Until then, I've come to realize that it's not about fixing things at all. It's about doing something that I preach about at the end of every blog post: To be as peaceful as I can be with everything and to forgive myself and other and ask for forgiveness. All the stories on this blog have given me permission to heal, laugh and love. To remember and to move on, but never forget the things that made me...ME. I'm feeling really good about where I'm at.

I don't know how many more personal stories I'll share on here. I feel like I've shared more than enough and, quite frankly, the whole world doesn't need to know everything about me. They already know enough to get the idea. Plus, when it comes to the CF aspect of my life, I feel like any other story I might share would border on redundancy. That being said, I'll continue to share my creative projects with you on this blog and on Facebook fan pages. More Moganko For Cystic Fibrosis Awareness videos and music are coming. More Joshland Unfiltered Podcasts are being edited. It's my passion and my contribution to the CF Community and one that I'm proud to share for as long as I have the time and energy. I love what I do and I love you all very much.

Now it's time for me to rediscover what it means for me to have balance between "CF Josh" and "Real World Josh"...because I deserve to have both. They make me happy.

Joshland Readers: Find what makes you happy and peaceful because life is too short to live without those things.

Peaceful Things and Lots of Love,

Josh

What'd You Think?

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Peaceful Things ~ Josh
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